FAWM 2022 #10: Wrecking Daddy's Cars

I don't have a big sister, but if I did...

Lyrics

My big sister has a knack for wrecking Daddy's cars.
I don't know why he lets her, but she never gets too far.
It isn't that she races them, or drives them to the bars,
But when she brings them back, they look like they've been to the wars.

That tasty little MG, in British Racing Green
Was the sweetest ride you've ever had, I swear.
Until one night she sweet-talked him into loaning her the keys:
Now it looks like a reject from GM's worst year!

My big sister has a knack for wrecking Daddy's cars.
I don't know why he lets her, but she never gets too far.
No matter if they're dandelions, or the rarest cultivars,
Her black thumb oppresses them like serfs under the czars.

Then there was that pickup, so shiny and so clean,
You'd eat off of the bumpers, and take a nap on the hood.
But she took it to the market for some bread, and milk, and beans,
And rolled it like a hula hoop through the brush and the mud.

My big sister has a knack for wrecking Daddy's cars.
I don't know why he lets her, but she never gets too far.
She swears that she can drive, but no matter how yar,
Her lead foot drives them under, like a yacht without its spars.

Two things really puzzle me about this sad tale:
First, how she survives these episodes.
Second, that Daddy hasn't thrown her in jail;
As sheriff, he bears a heavy load....

My big sister has a knack for wrecking Daddy's cars.
I don't know why he lets her, but she never gets too far.
It isn't that she races them, or drives them to the bars,
But when she brings them back, they look like they've been to the wars.

My big sister has a knack for wrecking Daddy's cars.