FAWM 2024 #1: Crispy Dan

Coming up to FAWM, I was doing the lion tamer bit to keep a couple of songs from bursting their cages before the first. This song wasn't one of them -- instead, it woke me in the early hours of the morning of the first, demanding to be written and posted before the other, more anticipated candidates.

Belated credit: I used the "War Tuba" sample library from Karoryfer Samples here the bassline.

Lyrics

When you've abondoned ev'ry hope,
Sliding down that slipp'ry slope,
At the end of your rope,
And you just can't hold on

When your situation's dire,
And your jug is getting dryer,
You wanna light your funeral pyre,
And throw yourself right on.

Crispy Dan (he's the man!)
Crispy Dan (yes, he can!)
Reach right in,
Close his eyes and grin,
And pull your bacon from the fire.
Crispy Dan, Crispy Dan, Crispy Dan.
When you've lost your way back home,
And your dog ain't got a bone,
Your pillow's made of stone,
And even misery seems glad

When your boiler's 'bout to burst,
And you've got a raging thirst,
And you're sure this is the worst
Day you've ever had.

Crispy Dan (he's the man!)
Crispy Dan (yes, he can!)
Help you blow off steam,
Feel like you're in a dream,
Where all your injuries are nursed,
Crispy Dan, Crispy Dan, Crispy Dan.

(whistling solo)

Crispy Dan (he's the man!)
Crispy Dan (yes, he can!)
Lead you by the hand
Into the promised land
The man knows how to cope,
Crispy Dan, Crispy Dan, Crispy Dan.

So, now let's raise a toast
To the guy we'd rather roast.
The one who's got the most
Amazing, sunburned tan.

Crispy Dan (he's the man!)
Crispy Dan (yes, he can!)
Reach right in,
Close his eyes and grin,
And pull your bacon from the fire
Crispy Dan, Crispy Dan, Crispy Dan.

Crispy Dan, Crispy Dan, Crispy Dan..
Crispy Dan, Crispy Dan, Crispy Dan.
© 2024 Tres Seaver