FAWM 2024 #3: Brightest Bulb

I'm pretty sure we've all come across this person at some point.

Lyrics

He's the brightest bulb on Macy's Christmas tree.
If you hadn't heard, he'll tell you, just you wait and see.
Hate to call him a braggart,
But take a look at that swagger,
He's the brightest bulb on Macy's Christmas tree.

He's the sharpest knife in the whole Cabela's store.
He'll be happy to tell you, and then come back for more.
Hate to call him pathetic,
But I'm reaching for my emetic,
He's the sharpest knife in the whole Cabela's store.

His fav'rite work of art? Why, a mirror!
It shows his multitude of charms,
Could they be any clearer?

He's the brightest bulb,
He's the sharpest knife, but
Cast him some shade,
You're in a fight for your life!

I'll happily concede
His virtues are endless,
But O Lord
why can't I end this?

He's the brightest bulb on Macy's Christmas tree!
He's the brightest bulb on Macy's Christmas tree!
© 2024 Tres Seaver